Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize