she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
