have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
