Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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