Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
