her vagine was all disorganized.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
