it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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