ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
