Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I need to align my fucking chakras
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize