He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
