My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
