I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
