Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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