Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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