if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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