One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
