i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
