i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
