you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
