The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
