why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
