why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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