I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
