i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
