It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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