just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
