I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
