I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
