AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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