I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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