I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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