i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
