is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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