i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I seem to have left my pride at pride
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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