there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
