her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
