Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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