Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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