i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
And then he peed in my hair
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