i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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