This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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