sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
