I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Is it penis luge time yet?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
