were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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