Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
