bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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