Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Everyone says I win the strip club
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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