Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
