I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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