sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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