bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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