I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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