i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
