Jerry, you need to find god
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
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