i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
NoShamevember. You game?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
