So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
