Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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