The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
