I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
