I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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