We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
