you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize