i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
